I was thinking about you last night. I cried, then used my shirt as a tissue. I almost cried in front of Dad but I didn't feel like talking about it so I held it in. While trying to sniffle the tears back up, my fake smile just made me feel worse so I let it out. Now don't get me wrong I was still fighting it...but I lost! I thought about you at Teen Haven also, had a misty moment there too. I don't like crying Mama, but I don't like talking either. So I guess I'm stuck for now. But in the end all I'm really trying to say is, " I love you Mama and I really really miss you"!
P.S. I'm always praying for you. <3
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Yesterday, August 17,2012, I came home (from Teen Haven) to the open arms of a father happy to reunite with his child. I talked about my week and shared pictures that my new friends and I took. My excited smile must have lifted his spirit for a second. Then as the seconds passed my smile continued to faint away. Trying to stay away from being stressed out I look back on my week and turn the Phillies Game on but unfortunately they were losing, which just made me feel worse. In the middle of all this, I tried to tell my dad what was going on in my head. Scared to hurt his feeling, I fail at this process. Trying to tell an occasional single parent that I would LOVE to move in with my aunt for the school year is something someone like me would never say, unless they snapped. And I am very close to that point! Awhile ago I noticed that I had a HUGE number of, tiny but long, scratches and cuts all over my back To me these scars resembled the cuts and scraps on my heart. Which is, because of you, slowly but surely trying to heal. So I Thank You!
Sincerely Your Child,
Sincerely Your Child,
Thursday, August 2, 2012
In my family I'm known for watching ALL my little cousins. Whether its all 6 of them or 1 or 2 at a time, its what I love to do! But I only get to see them if they are dropped of at my grandma's or if my cousins comes up from Florida and brings them over. These kids bring something to my life that's unsustainable, I love these kids even when I want to beat them! They're mine and always will be :). here are some of my little people: