Friday, November 2, 2012

This Guy!!!

Getting myself too caught up when it comes to him. Trying to define our relationship war is tiring. I love him, but he'll never know that. Just because.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Its Your Choice

Yellow my fellow readers I've missed you all. How was your summers and how are you planning for the end of the school year? Some of you might ask what I mean by the end, so I'm just going to say, especially to you seniors out there, don't wait for that last day to decide on what you want to do. When you have the choice to sit around or dance I hope you dance. Make us proud, fulfill your dreams, and conquer all your fears. Make your choice to stand or fall.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Dear Ma,

I was thinking about you last night. I cried, then used my shirt as a tissue. I almost cried in front of Dad but I didn't feel like talking about it so I held it in. While trying to sniffle the tears back up, my fake smile just made me feel worse so I let it out. Now don't get me wrong I was still fighting it...but I lost! I thought about you at Teen Haven also, had a misty moment there too. I don't like crying Mama, but I don't like talking either. So I guess I'm stuck for now. But in the end all I'm really trying to say is, " I love you Mama and I really really miss you"!
                     Your Daughter,
P.S. I'm always praying for you. <3

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Dear God,

Yesterday, August 17,2012, I came home (from Teen Haven) to the open arms of a father happy to reunite with his child. I talked about my week and shared pictures that my new friends and I took. My excited smile must have lifted his spirit for a second. Then as the seconds passed my smile continued to faint away. Trying to stay away from being stressed out I look back on my week and turn the Phillies Game on but unfortunately they were losing, which just made me feel worse. In the middle of all this, I tried to tell my dad what was going on in my head. Scared to hurt his feeling, I fail at this process. Trying to tell an occasional single parent that I would LOVE to move in with my aunt for the school year is something someone like me would never say, unless they snapped. And I am very close to that point! Awhile ago I noticed that I had a HUGE number of, tiny but long, scratches and cuts all over my back To me these scars resembled the cuts and scraps on my heart. Which is, because of you, slowly but surely trying to heal. So I Thank You!
                                                                                    Sincerely Your Child,

Thursday, August 2, 2012

My Relaxed Moments!!!

In my family I'm known for watching ALL my little cousins. Whether its all 6 of them or 1 or 2 at a time, its what I love to do! But I only get to see them if they are dropped of at my grandma's or if my cousins comes up from Florida and brings them over. These kids bring something to my life that's unsustainable, I love these kids even when I want to beat them! They're mine and always will be :). here are some of my little people:

Thursday, July 26, 2012

The End Of April 2011!

In 2011 I was proud to announce that I would be graduating from 8Th grade that June. The dance was coming up and graduation was making me very excited! Everything I did was rushed homework,chores, anything you think of, so that I felt that June was coming quicker and quicker everyday! But April 21st my days grew slower! I am one to rush things in the mornings so that things will get done, but that day rushing was everything BUT helpful.
 While I start to iron my clothes (on my bed) to go to school, I sit the iron on my desk and put my pants in between my legs. When I put my left leg on the ground it ends up bumping into the iron cord, which led to the HOT iron landing in the middle of my right thigh! Instead of getting the iron off immediately I stare at it-in shock, while trying to figure out why the iron was on my leg, and how it got there. Of course during these seconds of thinking the iron's heat was scorching my flesh. So when I finally do get the iron off, the shape of the iron is printed on my leg. All the while my sister is staring at me, she asks if I was fine while probably  trying to figure out why wasn't I crying. Skipping like 30 minutes into my already exciting morning, my dad sends me to school anyway with a cane, and a cookie sheet covering the burn.
 When I get to school the Principal sends me right to the nurse who calls my dad and demands that he take me to the Doctor. During the call I'm appreciating the attention by all my teachers and classmates :)! Within a hour or two my dad finally comes to pick me up. About 20minutes later my doctor is giving me a gauze and tape to cover the burn up. This was the end of my traveling date that would continue the next day. April 22nd I'm sent back to my Doctor who stupidly RIPPED the gauze off the burn, which leaves my rolling around in a wheel chair the remainder of the day! This "Doctor" of mine sends me to the Children's ER who stated that I had 2nd and 3rd degree burns. At the end of my ER check up I am prescribed antibiotics and given an extra fancy gauze, then sent home.
 Almost a year and a half later my favorite scar remains to catch people's eyes and will have me telling this story over and over again. So for now its just a messed up tattoo!! ;)

Dancing In The Rain

If I didn't just finish my hair I would be right outside dancing on the drenched streets of North Philly! But once that lightening starts I'm GONE!
 For me dancing in the rain is a way to let go. Of the pain, the heat, the irritation, and the nagging of family members. Its the time to let the rain be your tears, to let the sky and the clouds cry for you! To be able to let your disappointments or your broken dreams go. So that you're no longer ashamed of how you feel or hesitant about getting rid of doubt.
 My favorite song to dance to is High and Low by The Wanted and yes you might cry but who cares. Its okay to wail once in a while your eyes and heart will thank you.